my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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