So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Randomize
