It was confusing and full of hummus
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
