If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
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Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
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Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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