i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
