State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
