so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Panties = found
Randomize
