A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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