Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
we're making bets on your personal life
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize