hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
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