Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Who died my cat blue again?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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