If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
