Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
