Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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