the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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