3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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