I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
