i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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