well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
