my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
