Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
He is an equal opportunity slut.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
