Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
