I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
