Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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