that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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