It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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