Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
