I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
