I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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