At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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