He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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