Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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