I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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