In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
