In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
