I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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