I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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