seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
