I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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