worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
