Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
