everyone is single if you try hard enough
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
