did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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