Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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