good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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