he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize