i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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