i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I met the friendliest cop last night
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
