so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
