Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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