hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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