woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
