How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Come share oat with me in your robe
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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