how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
