I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize