i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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