You can't special order awesome
Fuck appropriateness.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
