This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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