do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
