how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I will pee on everything he values.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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