Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
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I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
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He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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