im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
