Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
