she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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