i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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